Musings on Belief, Uncertainty, and Existence

I think everything in the world is one - made of just one thing: mind and matter, good and evil, god and mortal: divine and abject. We are just manifested in different forms. There is also probably no order and chaos; these are things which we understand from a very narrow human perspective, from our subjective judgment. Our world is not meticulously created to support our life, but our life came as a result of this randomness. It grew and adapted itself to whatever environment it found itself in, and the one who could succeed survived, the one who couldn't perish. If the world was different - hotter or cooler, had less oxygen, or was made up of radioactive substance, we still could have had life, just a different form of life that could thrive in that situation.

But it is hard for us to believe that it's all random and there is no meaning to it all. If we start believing it and turn nihilist, in the face of challenges, we would choose death. However, every living being has the inherent tendency to keep themselves alive - survival instinct. As thinking beings, we humans have created meanings to levy on things. These meanings give us a reason to live. "Who has a why to live for can survive any how." If we take away the why, then one can't survive. For us, the why is the sense of purpose, a meaning, grand narratives that we have associated with life. And it is a good thing for our survival. It might be a wrong belief, but this belief keeps us alive. If it keeps us alive, could it be that wrong?

I am an agnostic, but somewhere I fluctuate between slight theism to slight atheism. There is a high chance that there is no basis to my belief - but I tend to believe in the theory of karma; maybe completely for my own sanity. Maybe I draw my ethical guidance from it. And my theistic belief can be summed up in four lines of sloka (chapter 2 verse 47 from Geeta).

I can never claim to be right in any of my beliefs, even though I can confidently claim certain beliefs are wrong based on evidence and logical inference. However, a slight lingering doubt should always exist as our own understanding is limited by our sensory perception. However, I am inclined to believe that life cannot just be over with our death:

1. The world recycles every atom in our body - everything is made out of the same stuff, and we are just changing forms infinitely.

2. Consciousness doesn't end with the death of the body; something could persist and continue.

I don't believe in a God that has created the universe, as to me, the universe (multiverse) has always existed. There is no beginning or end, as it is a circle. A series of creation and destruction, of flow and stagnancy but never of beginning and end. However, I am not sure about it; it just seems more probable to me. In the end, perhaps keeping ourselves open to new ideas & evidence is the only way to live and thrive. Again, that is debatable, just like most things in life. So I just keep musing on Belief, Uncertainty, and Existence